Effective Communication

"Sorry, what did you say?", "Excuse me?", "What do you mean by that?", "I don't understand what you are saying to me..."

Have you ever heard any of those phrases? Given that we spend most of our waking hours around other people, the way in which we communicate, verbally in our relationships is very important. It is also really important to think about the way we 'physically communicate' - our 'body language'. Are our arms crossed when we are speaking with someone else? Are we looking at the other person when they speak? Do we LOOK interested? Are we smiling or frowning? All these things say a lot about us and our communications skills.

Have a look at our tips on good communication...

Paraphrasing

Is a good way to show your friend that you’ve really listened to him/her. It will often lead to a better understanding while he/she will see that you value what they are saying. When there is a natural pause in the conversation, restate briefly what you heard your partner say by rephrasing in your own words. Then ask if this is correct. This helps to ensure you are both understanding each other.

Clarification

Ask questions and clarification on anything your partner said that you don’t quite understand. Asking your partner to explain his/her feelings helps draw them out to be more open. Make sure you understand your partner before you react to what has been said.

Effective feedback

Feedback consists of telling your partner what your reaction is to what has been said. You should tell him/her that this feedback is based on what your understanding is. Talk about your feelings.
Try to do the following things when giving your partner feedback:
• It must be immediate
• It must be honest
• It must be constructive - helpful
• It must be supportive and not attacking or mean.

Be aware of body language

Up to 90% of your communications can be visual. You’re receiving not only words but, most importantly for relationships, you’re receiving body language and tone. Most often body language prevails over words. Learn to listen with empathy, openness and awareness. Nod your head occasionally as you listen to your partner and maintain eye contact to show interest in what they are saying. If you sense a misunderstanding between what is being said and what you see, ask for clarification.

It is really important to make sure that you both understand each other, as no one likes to fight with someone they love. Trying to make sense of what your partner is saying can sometimes take longer than you want it to, but it is much better to understand than to get upset with each other.

If you want any more information please do not hesitate to email Streetwise at info@streetwisegb.org